WoW! Viola Davis Goes Natural! And Natural Looks Good On Her!

But do you think she will walk the Oscar's red carpet natural?

http://stylenews.peoplestylewatch.com/2012/02/24/viola-davis-hair-and-wig/?xid=rss-topheadlines

Video: "Sh*t Natural Girls Say"

Struggling with Sameness

Of all the challenges I expected to face in my natural hair journey, boredom didn't make the list. But here I am, three months after the big chop, and every day has seen the same with this hair. Eighty-three days of teeny weeny Afros.

In fashion and retail, this is the time of year when winter lines are moved out and spring lines make their debut. Change is in the air! Change is not in my hair. 

I like having options. I like trying new looks with my clothes, make up, jewelry and hair. I'm not really sure how I should feel or what I should do about it, because I wasn't prepared for this kind of doubt. I prepared myself for external pressures. I prepared myself for the ardent quest to find the "perfect" products for my hair.

The Internet is full of ideas for natural hair styles, right? Sure, the Internet is full of hair tutorials. Have I ever mentioned how inept I've always been at styling my own hair. Tutorials for bantu knots, twits, and the like are my DIY nightmare. 

If I'm being honest with myself, I would admit that my dilemma could stem from unrealistic expectations I had about this journey at the onset. Although I knew that I would have to become acquainted with my natural hair texture over time, underneath it all I guess I expected my hair to be more manageable than it is right now. I didn't expect to have trouble keeping it moisturized throughout the day. I didn't expect that my headbands would give me headaches (at least the cute ones do).

The best I can do right now is just think about where I am in my journey. What have I learned in the last three months? What am I looking forward to? What do I do now?

I am Your Frobassador!

When I'm painting a picture of myself that I want people to believe, I say that I started this blog to share my natural hair journey and possibly inspire others. How spiritual of me!

If I am being totally honest, I have to admit that another (possibly greater reason) I started this blog was to make myself accountable to others and follow through on the journey once I began it. In the beginning, I wasn't sure I was cut out for this. I wasn't sure I was ready to accept the unknown. But, hear I am several months after beginning the journey and more than two months after the big chop.

And I find it interesting how many other people find my hair interesting.

November 2011

I have become an ambassador of the Afro Nation - or Frobassador, for short. While people won't stare at my hair, I do find that my hair quickly becomes a topic of conversation when I meet someone new or run into a friend I haven't seen in a while. People want to know what it's like in my country where natural hair runs wild and free (at least metaphorically). How does one apply for permanent residency? Do you have to renounce your citizenship in Processed Hair Land?

Talking is one of the things I do best, and I never mind talking about what's going on in my life so I am happy to talk about my hair. It's interesting that people are more interesting in my hair now than they were when I relaxed it. The natural is novel. The processed is commonplace and, therefore less interesting. Even though I out more effort into my relaxed hair. When my hair was relaxed, I will admit, it usually looked pretty good. But it looked like so many other heads of hair. In it's natural state, there is no other hair like MY hair. And everyday, it's a little bit different.

So when people ask about my hair (How long have you worn it this way? How long does it take to style in the morning? Do you think you'll ever go back to relaxers?) and even touch my lovey lady locs, I'm happy to share. My hair is different, but not so different from anyone elses' hair. It's made from the same proteins and minerals. It's just has a different directive. It's nothing to fear.

I was fortunate to have to Frobassadors inspire me to take a leap: my sister Mary Dedeaux-Swinton and a dear friend Tosca Davis. Whether it's about hair or some other "great unknown," I hope I can inspire someone else to talk a flying leap!

Happy to be nappy!

Did She Go There Already?!

Shock! Panic! Horror!

At 37 years old, I've just been through the amazing process of rediscovering my natural hair. You can't imagine what I felt tonight when my nine year old daughter tells me that she would like to try wearing her hair straight.

Before I went through this process, there were times I contemplated getting her hair texturized -- which is to say "slightly relaxed" -- a "kiddy perm" to make it easier to manage. I remember what it was like to be her age and to dread combing through my hair after having it washed. I've tried to make the experience easier for her. At the same time, she's my child and I want to protect her.

My rational mind knows this is a minor issue. It's only hair. It's normal for her to want to try something new; especially having seen me for years with relaxed straightened hair.

The idea seems a little less horrifying now that she's asleep and I've had some time to think about it. We could try straightening her hair for a special occasion. She's due for a trim soon.

She did make an important distinction: she would like to try straightening her hair -- not relaxing it.

Nothing and No One is Perfect

My natural hair journey has provided many lessons. I've learned to accept what I can't anticipate and control. I've learned that no one paid as much attention to my hair as I did.

Still I have days like today, where I have to remind myself that nothing and no one is perfect. I was well-prepared for my flight to North Dakota today. My company hires a charter to take employees and contractors up every Monday and back on Thursdays. I left the house about an hour and a half before my flight's departure. Typically, it only takes 20 - 30 minutes to get to the airport.

Today there was a accident on the way, and I missed my flight. It was particularly difficult/embarrassing because there was someone on the flight who was relying me to be there. We're leading training together this week. She needed me to drive because she didn't have the training our company requires.

Initially, I worried that I couldn't get a flight to my destination. Even after I managed to rebook my travel, I still kept thinking really negatively about myself. "Why didn't I leave earlier? My boss is going to be so angry with me. I've let everyone down. There's no way I can recover from this."

I don't recognize myself when I start thinking this way. After taking a deep breath, I made my way to my new terminal and started making phone calls and emails to make sure my travel companion would be met by someone from our office who could get her to her destination.

I did it, and everything will be OK. I'm losing productive time sitting in the airport that I'll have to make up this week.

Why is it so hard to remember: That nothing and no one is perfect?

One of my favorite children songs is "I'm Not Perfect," by the Laurie Berkner Band.

I'm not perfect, no I'm not
I'm not perfect, but I've got what I've got
I do my very best, I do my very best
I do my very best each day
But I'm not perfect
And I hope you like me that way

When our children were younger, we heard this song almost everyday. I recognized it was an important message for the children to hear and take to heart, but clearly I didn't take it to heart. Sometimes plans don't work out. Sometime people let us down. Sometimes we're the ones who let others down. There's forgiveness even for us all, and hopefully time to re-book.

I Could Never Do That Until I Did It.

The first few days of my new naturalness have been easier than I expected. While I've been looking forward to this for months, I still anticipated some uncomfortable moments (see this previous post and see that I mean).

Have I seen some surprised reactions? Sure. Have I seen anyone faint or drive their car into a brick wall? Fortunately, no.

Perhaps the only barrier to taking this leap into virgin territory was my own mind? I used to think I could never cut off all my hair. My head is too big. I'll look like an alien. (Quiet.) I could never let me hair go natural. It's too big and bushy (which I didn't really know because it had been relaxed for 25 years.) Most of my arguments were based on what I thought people would think.

What I thought people would think. Think about that.

What are you doing in your life that you wish you could quit, you know you should quit, but you won't because of what you think other people will think?

What are you missing out on in life because you worry what other people might think?

I didn't think I could do this until I did it... And I'm glad I did.